


Of Cabbages and Kings

by havetaoque



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Humor, Humour, M/M, Magic, Plants, Spells Gone Wrong, Stocks, Vegetables, crops, harvest, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8006071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havetaoque/pseuds/havetaoque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a difficult winter, Arthur plans to lift the ban on magic gradually, starting with a bit of secret magic to help the crops along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Cabbages and Kings

“Are you _sure_ you know what you’re doing?”

Arthur stood next to Merlin, arms crossed over his chest. They were out in the fields under the cover of night with their hoods drawn up.

“Yeah. ‘Course I do,” Merlin whispered.

Arthur sighed. “Why am I not convinced?”

“It’s just a simple crop charm. What could go wrong?” Merlin squinted at the piece of paper he’d written the spell on, tilting it to catch the moonlight.

“Merlin,” Arthur said patiently. “If you mess this up...”

Merlin waved off the threat and stretched out his hands toward the fields with their tiny shoots. Arthur stood back to give him room to work.

“ _Grénnessa_ , _ælaþ ellenwóda_.”

Nothing seemed to happen. Merlin cracked open an eye.

“Is it done then?” Arthur asked.

Merlin looked at the unchanged little shoots in their furrows. “Yeah. I think so. Simple, right?”

“I suppose.” Arthur nodded. “Well with any luck, we’ll have a good harvest this year. And no one will be the wiser. Subtlety is key. If we’re going to bring magic back, we must give the people time to adjust.”

“Exactly,” Merlin said, reflecting on Arthur’s own lengthy adjustment period.

They snuck back to Arthur’s chambers in the castle. After Arthur had fallen asleep, Merlin looked through his magic book to double check on the charm – not that he needed to. He just wanted to be extra sure.

Merlin looked up from the book, eyes wide. “Oh no.”

 

:i:

 

The next morning, Arthur and Merlin were awakened by someone pounding on the chamber door.

“Sire!”

It was Sir Leon.

“Sire! We need you in the courtyard immediately!” There was a pause. “And Merlin too! Is he with you?”

“No!” said Merlin.

“Well – right,” said Leon. They heard his footsteps retreating down the corridor.

Merlin pulled the sheets over his head and groaned. Arthur smacked him with a pillow and tugged the sheets off him. “Explain.”

Merlin made a grab for the sheets again, but Arthur yanked them away completely, forcing Merlin to hop out of bed and into his robe. He faced the king, but his eyes kept shifting toward the door until Arthur got up and stood, blocking his escape route.

“Arthur, I’m sure the knights can handle whatever’s going on out there. Why don’t we just stay in bed a bit longer?” He essayed a tried and true distraction tactic, but Arthur caught his wrist.

“I thought you said it was, and I quote, ‘A simple charm what could go wrong.’”

“It was your idea in the first place! How is this all my fault? And why are we assuming this is about the crops or my spells? It could be some magic beast has gone and left flowers at everyone’s door.”

Arthur paused and stared at him.

“A magic beast leaving flowers at every door? That’s the most _ridiculous_ thing I’ve ever heard. You really are a girl, Merlin.”

Merlin scowled, but he went to put on his clothes, leaving Arthur to get dressed on his own.

 

:i:

 

“Your shirt’s on backwards, sire.”

“Shut up, Merlin.”

 

:i:

 

They had a hasty breakfast of meat and cheese, and went down to the courtyard.

A few of the knights, in chainmail and plate, were gathered near the gate.

“They’re _dressed_ like there’s a rampaging magical beast,” Merlin said under his breath.

“They always dress like that. And I don’t think a beast that leaves flowers would require armoured knights, _Mer_ lin.”

Sir Leon caught sight of them and hurried over.

“Sire,” Leon said, excitedly. “There’s something going on with the fields.”

“I knew it,” Arthur said, with a long-suffering sigh.

“Oh?” Sir Leon looked surprised. “It happened last night. No one’s sure what caused it, and it’s awfully strange, but I can’t say it isn’t welcome.”

Arthur gestured for him to continue.

“The people are reporting that the crops have grown overnight. They’ve begun harvesting them already.”

“They – what? Grown overnight?” Arthur and Merlin shared a brief look of panic.

“That’s right, sire.” Leon glanced at Merlin. “I sent some knights out to patrol earlier to confirm the stories.”

“Well that’s… that’s unexpected,” Arthur said, trying his best to look innocent.

 

:i:

 

The early spring harvest was in full swing by the time Arthur and Merlin reached the fields with the knights. Cartloads of vegetables rolled past them on the road. A donkey went by, laden with carrots. Swarms of people worked to bring in the produce.

As the day wore on, however, it became clear that the vegetables were not going to stop growing. Those that had not been harvested continued to grow. Arthur saw leeks as long as swords and cabbages as round as wagon wheels. The knights’ horses had taken to standing in the shade of the beanstalks, and the villagers who had come to help bring in the sudden harvest had to use axes to chop the beanstalks down.

Merlin was flipping frantically through his spell book, looking for a way to stop the growth.

“What happened?” Arthur asked, panting as he pushed a huge pumpkin up the hill.

“I used the wrong word!” Merlin cried. “I meant to say ‘grow well’ not ‘grow out of control’!”

Arthur paused halfway up the hill and leaned on the pumpkin. He watched Merlin yank at his hair as he went through the spell book.

“Think of it this way,” he said, grinning, “at least there will be _plenty_ of vegetables for when you’re in the stocks tomorrow.”

Merlin sputtered. “Those cabbages will put me away! Have you seen how big they’ve gotten?”

“Funnily enough I have. And if you’re just going to sit there gaping at me, you might as well come help me with this, Pumpkin.”

“Did you just—”

“ _Mer_ lin.”

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Old English:**  
>  _grénnessa_ – (nom.f.pl. noun) green things, plants  
>  _ælaþ_ – (pl. imperative) to nourish, grow, produce, appear  
>  _georne_ – (adverb) well, exactly, completely  
>  _ellenwóda_ – (nom.f.pl. adj.) raging, furious, zealous, earnest
> 
> (Courtsey of: [Old English Translator](http://www.oldenglishtranslator.co.uk/))


End file.
